Just Under A Year

So MSG has been having health problems for just over a year now. His condition has prompted him to make the move toward retirement. This December 26th he will hit the 20 year mark and he expects our exit date to be around June of 2015. I am panicking.Junior is almost done with basic training then AIT and on to jump school. Gamer still is not driving (super frustrating for both of us) so I am his ride to school, work, library, and basically anywhere else.YouTube is doing great in school but still hasn't seemed to grow out of the drama portion of her teenage experience. Little Miracle is the only one who is doing exactly what I expect her to be doing. She has kept her schedule of doing everything early (walking at 9 mos, opening doors at 13 mos, etc..) and has full on hit the terrible 2 stage. I am trying to finish my degree. I have 4 classes left after this term. I thought I was going to complete in April but received updated info putting my graduation off until June. That's right, the same time MSG is supposed to be retiring. I need to get a job so we can put some money away. Except MSG has made it clear that he will not take on my other obligations in order for that to happen. So, some how I am supposed to drive everyone where they need to go. Do all the household chores to include MSG's normal chores, since he can't do anything as he is recovering from surgery.I am also supposed to complete my school work and get a job. Oh and I have to find a way to pay for school that doesn't involve getting a loan since my GI Bill is about to run out. Oh My Life! At least I have a family to complain about and for that I am thankful.     

Oh The Daily Struggle...

Struggling... everyone has some sort of struggle at sometime in their lives. This morning I have come to the realization that I have deal with an absurd amount of struggling. Now these aren't massive change the world type struggles. In the grand scheme of things my struggles only affect me. However they are struggles and well I am honestly quite tired. To begin with- I creak, crack, and crawl out of bed as co sleeping with my 20 month old well is not restful. I descend the stairs to be bombarded by questions of- what are you doing today, or wheres such and such... all I want is coffee. Coffee that I must drink away from everyone since they find my vanilla creamer offensive- so I am shunned. then there is the shower that unless I get in before the baby wakes up I must take amid plastic fish and stacking cups- hazardous conditions. I get out and leave the baby to play in the "rain" of the shower and dress but before I finish brushing my hair the baby is "weady". I wrap her in a towel she wiggles free and now I am chasing a naked slippery baby...it;s not even 9 am.

Don't get me wrong. I love my little daily struggles. I know there will come a time when I don't have them and I will miss them. I wish the bigger ones would take a rest now and then so I could enjoy the silly ones more though...  

Camping With a Toddler Update

Okay, so we have been back from camping for two weeks. I know it seems kind of a long time to let pass if writing a reflective piece but my darling husband had surgery and other things were happening. Anyway, depending on who you ask will depend on the response you get. I thought our Miracle did well on her first camping trip. We could have brought more toys for her to play with (her bike and some toy cars would have been great) instead of thinking she would be fascinated with nature and play in the mud. Also, since I am not much of a fisherman I should have plotted out the trails and swimming areas better. I was a little board chasing the baby and playing at the play ground. We brought way to much food. I was afraid the toddler would want something and we wouldn't have which would bring on a tantrum. That was not the case and their was a little store that had whatever we may have needed. All in all, the little one did alright. There were only a few melt downs but we deal with those anytime she isn't ready to transition.
                                                     

New Phase

It has been about a month since I have eaten any meat. I am still occasionally eating eggs and cheese so I have not completely crossed the vegan threshold. Cooking for my family of carnivores has been a little harder than I thought it was going to be. I am trying to incorporate what I am eating with what they are eating. So cooking meat separate and then adding it in for them as part of the finished product- This worked really well with a Spanish rice and beans dish I made recently.

As a family we have decided to send summer out with a bang. We are planning a four day camping trip to Montauk state park.We are really excited and so are the kids. If you are a parent of teenagers you know what a big deal it can be to get them excited about anything that has them leaving electronic devices behind. This has really been my husbands deal and he wants to make sure he gets to do it before his surgery and the possibility of not being able to do something like this again.

Anyway I digress. My husband, the ultimate carnivore, has been doing most of the planning of our trip. He has even been setting up menus- which I thought was interesting since at home he only cooks if he can grill or wants eggs for breakfast. Oh and ramen noodles- which I refuse to cook because that is not food. So my loving husband "forgot" that I wasn't eating meat and didn't have anything but potatoes on his shopping list for me to eat. This is going to be an interesting trip.

A Little Rant

       I am not one to complain. I am a pretty easy going person. So much so, that I have been described as Switzerland and a push over. Two things have been bothering me. The first was a person actually said to me the other day- "Well, your older son isn't really part of your family anymore since he doesn't live with you".
What? I am absolutely flabbergasted by this comment. For those who do not know my lovely family consists of my husband (MSG) and our four beautiful children (Junior, Gamer, YouTube, and Miracle). Junior left at the end of July for basic training. Some how him leaving and going to basic translated into him no longer being a part of our family and me no longer his mother. Really!!!
         

July, 2014

     The other issue I am having is the baby and I were in the market today. I needed milk, bread, eggs, and some fruit and vegetables for the week. There were a lot of sales going on (which is pretty common in between paydays). The biggest deals were on snack foods. Right by the door was a large display of chips. You know the ones that "Bet you can't eat just one". They were on sale for a $1.50 a bag. We walked past them to the fresh produce. I really wanted to make fresh vegetable soup and some apple- carrot juice. A 5 pound bag of apples which had about 13 apples in it was $4.99. A 3 pound bag of granny smith apples were selling for $2.50. There are 5 of us in the house so I went ahead and picked up a bag of each. That works out to be about an apple a person for maybe 4 days. $7.49 for fresh apples or a bag a chips a day for 4 days at $6.00. We would never eat that many chips in 4 days but it is just an example. My family would probably only need two bags of chips to cover 4 days, so only $3.00. Anyone else see a problem with this?! It makes me so angry. I want to stand in front of the store and say boycott the junk and just buy fresh. Then maybe we can get decent prices for fresh produce. I know so many families who can't afford to buy the fresh fruit or vegetables it makes me sad. Shame on our government for not have their priorities straight and making the health of the American people suffer for their greediness. Help a mom out!

     

Unit 10- Progress, Reflection, The End of Class

In unit 3 we were asked to assess our physical, spiritual and psychological development. This final unit asks us to reflect on those numbers (score 1-10 with 10 being the goal) and to assess where we feel we are now.

Physical- In unit 3 I gave myself a 5. I am gonna stick with a 5 as my assessed number. Now wait, I know you probably think I have had no progress or growth. Not true. My progress has been homeopathic. I have started seeing an ENT to help me treat a health issue I have been struggling with for over a year. She diagnosed me with BBPV or positional vertigo. Anyway, my vertigo has kept me out of the gym. However the treatment is working! I have also, without really trying, started eating a vegetarian diet. I have been listening to my body and well my body doesn't really need meat. So that said- still a work in progress and evolving everyday.

Spiritual- In unit 3 I gave myself a 4. I give myself a 5 now but I still am not outside as much as I want to be.

Psychological- I gave myself a 6 in unit 3. Currently, I think I am a 6.5 or maybe a 7. My mood is lifted and I feel like I am in a better place.

I am going to spend the next 10 days focusing on getting my schedule in place, making sure I have the resources I need, and the support system in place to help me flourish! This will not be my last blog post. I will continue this blog. My family is about a year from transitioning from the Army. I know I am going to have new stresses. I want to chronicle my journey. I head out wiser and with more peace than I have felt in a long while. I know I do not travel alone in this journey. I am grateful for the guidance given.

Unit 9- The Plan

            As part of my last assignment for my class I need to post my unit 9 project. It is in AP format.

                                                                     Introduction

            Integral health and wellness equals wholeness and balance. This balance is not just external it is also internal. The body-mind-spirit connection is one that promotes actually celebrates all aspects associated with traditional healing and couples it with personalized care, patient and practitioner empowerment, and peace. The principles of Aesclepian healing: holistic, evolutionary, intentional, person-centered, and dynamic are characteristics that benefit the healer and the person seeking the health (Dascher, 2006). In the wellness field these characteristics can guide the professional in such a way that they are not so burdened by their noble choice to help others. Developing psychologically, spiritually, and physically, is essential for anyone who interacts with others on a regular basis but more so for the wellness professional. This strong foundation keeps you open. Open to new ideas, alternative possibilities, relationships, and in return helps others to see what the journey to human flourishing looks like (Dascher, 2006). My journey is just beginning. At nearly 40 I believe I have a foundation spiritually, it is not traditional in a religious aspect but it is grounded in nature. Psychologically and physically go hand in hand for me. I am still finding my voice and while I work toward that I am working toward my physical health (namely fitness).

Assessment

            Nine weeks ago when this journey began the idea that a college course would change my approach to life never occurred to me. Taking stock of me, personally, was not something that really crossed my mind. Every once in a while something would happen and while I was dusting myself off or picking up the pieces I might reflect on what had happened or how I could have changed things. Now I see the importance of taking a few moments every once and awhile to check the map (so to speak). Is your life following the path you have laid out? Is there more you could do to enhance the trip or lighten your load? Looking at myself spiritually it is safe to say that I am not spending as much time in the dirt as I should be. This aspect of my life could use some tweaking. Since I used to grade papers (as para) I would give myself a C maybe a B- in the area of spiritual development. This leads directly into psychologically for me. I feel lighter and more centered after a meditation session. However, I am not practicing as I should. I have however made great strides when dealing with others, especially those I love and hold dear. I do know that I need to cut myself some slack and get out of my own way or I will never experience my full potential. My grade for psychological development would be a B. Physically I have made huge strides. This journey started almost 4 years ago when I quit smoking. I then started eating better (however, I have quite the sweet tooth) and have learned the importance of openness with my healthcare provider. I also know now that no matter how healthy I eat I cannot achieve my health goals without including exercise. This being said I give myself a solid B physically.

Goals

            Time management and myself are my biggest downfalls. The first thing I plan to do is make a master schedule. Nothing to ridged, but I need to make time for me. Taking the three main areas spiritually, immediate goal is to get outside for at least 40 minutes a day. My long term goal is to get a garden going. Psychologically, my immediate goal is to be less reactive. My long term goal is to let go. Physical goals are easy. Short term over the course of the next 6 weeks I will work out (walking, jogging, elliptical) at least 3 times a week for a total of at least 150 minutes per week. I will also lift heavy things (weights, kettle bells, or rocks) at least 3 times a week for a weekly total of at least 90 minutes. Long term goals are to build up to working out at least 6 days a week.

Putting it to Work

            In order to see changes in my psychological, physical and spiritual development I have to implement a plan. Apart from scheduling, coming up with strategies that will lead me to ultimate health is what this journey has been about. Spiritually, taking my exercise outdoors is one way I can get more time outside. The other is to take my meditation practice outside. Psychological strategies are ones I have been really working on. Journaling (continuing to blog or keep a small written journal) is something I plan to do. This journaling helps me keep my gentile speech and offers me reflective time. The other strategy I plan to implement is positive self-talk. Physically, the schedule helps the most here. However, I tend to workout longer when I have someone to workout with, so finding a partner is vital. Another strategy I want to try is looking at exercise as a prescribed medication. This will turn it into something I have to do even if I don’t like it and hopefully it will become something I like to do.

Commitment

            The things above are obviously things I know I need to do. My fear is when this class ends so will my drive to meet these goals. To help me stay committed I plan to share my goals with friends and family so that they can help me stay the path. Since I intend to continue blogging I will post updates probably on the first of every month (easy to remember) that will highlight new things that I am doing and reflect on what I am not doing. When I close my eyes and imagine my journey originally I saw a juggler. Trying to maintain all of life’s little balls up in the air while balancing on the ball that was supposed to be my life. Now I see myself floating on a river with bends and rapids but staying afloat with the help of paddles and the occasional life vest.

References

Dacher, E. S. (2006). Integral Health The Path to Human Flourishing, Laguna Beach, CA. Basic Health Publication, Inc

Unit 8 Review

          Our term is quickly coming to an end. With about two weeks left I am asked to look at the different practices I have been shown and choose two that I find beneficial and how I can implement them in my daily life. The first practice I feel like I got the most out of is Loving-kindness. This practice helps keep us in tune with the import people in our lives. When ever I complete a Loving-kindness session I am more aware of my actions and words. I am aware of how they maybe perceived by my loved ones. I choose to to be more thoughtful and less reactive. This practice is great for me in the morning. It puts me on the right track for the rest of the day. I have altered it a little. I can easily find ten minutes more if I can get it (I say ten but a session usually runs 15 to 20 minutes) first thing in the morning when my house is quiet and before the baby wakes up. I  have chosen my back patio as my place of reflection. The sounds of the birds in the morning transcend all other neighborhood noise and I can focus on the practice. The other practice I enjoy is the visualization. I have incorporated this practice as part of my nightly routine. While lying in bed I see my self happy, whole and radiant. Picturing myself as a healthy exuberant person was not easy at first. I have never been one to readily accept a compliment even when I am giving it to myself. I like how it focuses my goals. When I wake up I start the day with the intent that I will make healthy choices and work toward my overall well-being. That leads me into my Loving-kindness practice and ready for the rest of my day.

Unit 7 Finding My Inner Healer

This is my weekly posting- for those who may have stumbled upon my blog many of my posts are assignments for an integral health class I am taking.


         This week we listened to an audio lead meditation. During this meditation we needed to choose someone to be a representative or a guide to finding our inner healer. If we couldn't think of someone we could make a person up (Which I kinda feel for those who had to do that. I would hope that by the time we reach adulthood we would have at least one person that we respect). This person became our focal point as we allowed ourselves to become this person and then separated as a healer. We then accepted our healing spirit back into ourselves. I chose to focus on my grandmother, who has been deceased now almost ten years. She was a giving woman, an obstetric nurse by trade and avid crafter, gardener by passion. She lived spontaneously and fully enjoyed everything she did. My grandmother and I have a relationship unlike any other relationship I have with anyone else in my family. As a matter of fact I am not sure they are aware of how close she and I had become after I had my children. I am also very close to my mother as we have a lot in common and have almost identical personalities. I also love, admire and respect her but in this particular instance my grandmother was the first person that came to mind. These practices have helped me to realize how disconnected I have become from the earth and myself. I catch myself now mundanely going through the day and stop myself. I am trying to see every moment for the wonderful opportunity that they are.

       We are also supposed to describe the saying "One cannot lead another where one has not gone himself". I absolutely agree with this statement. Having been an a person who struggles with their weight I know I relate better with someone who has also had the same struggle. I can't imagine trying to teach someone how to eat healthier and live an active lifestyle if I am not doing those things. Lead by example- I believe that's a good motto for life.

Unit 6 Assessing My Life

    This week we were asked to look at the different areas of our life and make note of where we excel and where we need improvement. The Integral Assessment has six principals
1.The goal of integral health - lessen suffering and promote human flourishing. The two things we use to identify parts of our life that may need attention:
     -Which parts of our life are the highest sources of stress?
     -Where do have the the greatest opportunity for growth and development?
2.There is a difference between short term and long term relief. We need to understand the difference and know when to apply each.
3. There is a difference between immediate satisfaction and long term flourishing. You may find it necessary to avoid immediate gratification in order to meet our goal is long term sustained flourishing.
4. Psychospiritual development is an important part of integral health. We must assess where we are periodically to make sure we stay focused, our hearts our open, and we are truly working toward human flourishing.
5. Integral assessment requires listening to your internal voice and guidance.
6. Look at current situation and circumstances- evaluate for change. This is something that needs to revisited from time to time to make sure we are staying the coarse. (Dasher, 2006)
      For some people honest dialog whether it is with a person or with themselves is easy. I on the other hand find it a little difficult. After going through a loving-kindness session I felt heavy when normally I feel light. This revelation made me want abandon the assignment. However, I gave myself a moment and was able to come back with the understanding that I am a work in progress. I have this thing (call it a habit, a nervous tick, anal- whatever) I have to write things down. It helps me process and slow my mind down so that I think clearer. I have done it forever. My husband gives me notebooks because I burn through them like mad. The content is not specific- recipes, a cleaning schedule, poems, where I parked, a song on the radio, a book title, pretty much anything and everything goes in my notebook. I sat in my state of  introspection and learned that a huge source of stress for me is not having control.- Duh, that stresses most people out. I need to understand that with my children I can't always be there. With my husband I can't make him better but I can lessen his burden. I am working on asking for help, accepting help, saying no, letting go, and not feeling guilty for any of these actions.
 Dacher, E. S. (2006). Integral Health The Path to Human Flourishing, Laguna Beach, CA. Basic Health Publication, Inc

The Subtle Mind

I am going to open with - I really want this (Integral Health). I do, I believe in it. I believe this whole body-mind- spirit connection is important to overall well-being. However pursuing this is becoming difficult. As difficult as it is I am determined to find my way.

The Subtle Mind practice like the Loving-Kindness practice is long. I struggle with the time it takes only because I have a very active toddler running around. This week I thought I would see how getting up earlier and going to sleep later might help me find 15 to 20 minutes (solid minutes) of time to practice. The morning time was easier for me. Our family dogs loved that I was up earlier too. The Loving-kindness practice was easier for me in comparison because it allowed me to focus on my loved ones. I think all moms (actually most people) will agree with me that it is far easier to focus on others than it is yourself. I found it much easier than just focusing on my breath. Oddly enough once I made the time for the exercise and truly focused on it The biggest distraction for me was on the recording. Deep in the background sound, past the sound of waves was a metronome or a ticking clock. My mind wandered to where the sound was coming from. Did I have a clock in the room? No, why not? Maybe, I should get a clock? Wait focus on my breathing. Maybe, the recorded ticking was an accident? -Focus on breathing. How long has it been? I can't believe the baby is still sleeping.- in and out - slow and deep. At night when I practice I fall asleep. My computer eventually goes into sleep mode which is nice but I am not completing the session.

I am going to sit down a get a hard schedule for myself set up. I notice that sometimes first thing in the morning sitting down to do the practice be it loving-kindness or subtle mind I am so calm and relaxed that I am less motivated to work out. I need to keep my energy up so that I do not skip my physical exercise. I am working to be successful at this because the only way I will get my husband on board is for him to see that it is working for me. This journey is worth it! My health and the health of my family is worth it! Blessings

Loving-Kindness

This exercise is a great one for bringing things in perspective and getting a person to be less self-centered. This exercise makes you focus on your loved ones. The people who are truly important to you. I enjoyed this exercise while I struggled with the time aspect (as I usually do). I loved the sense of calm that came over me as I thought about my family. Each time I thought of a different person and each time I felt a different kind of calmness. It even prompted me to take on a no complaining challenge. This challenge is very simple- go 24 hours without complaining. Basically, it forces you to focus on the positive. I have struggled with this challenge making it most of a day. I feel we tend to focus on the negative and that can sometimes become a rut. I would recommend everyone try both of these practices. It is worth it to feel the positive effects in your life and to have the positive feelings that are sent out reflected back.  

"More Me"

"More Me!" is probably the first mini sentence my (as of today) 18 month old said and still says. She sweetly yells "More Me!" when she wants to be held, read to, or simply needs a little extra attention. She is the youngest of my brood and on the blog I refer to her as Miracle. At her very tender age she already knows that "me time" is important, a skill I am still working on. I learn new things from her and get to rediscover old things with her all the time. She keeps me young and is the inspiration for my journey to find long lasting good health (don't get me wrong, I love my other 3 kids and my husband).

   

Unit 3 Reflection

                                 This is a picture taken in Breckenridge Colorado a few years ago.
This weeks post is one of reflection. We are supposed to rank on a scale of 1-10 how we feel we are doing in our progress toward Integral Health then we are supposed to set goals in each area that will help us progress toward optimal health and well-being.

Physical- In the area of physical well-being I would rate myself a 5. I say a 5 because I have been steadily making progress toward the betterment of my overall health for the last few years. In January 2011 I quit smoking. I receive regular health and dental care. I am limiting my dietary intake of animal products and getting regular exercise. A goal I would like to set for myself physically would to reach a healthy maintainable weight by the end of this year. I am already taking steps to reach this goal and am exploring a vegetarian diet as a means to help me achieve it.

 Spiritual- The area of spiritual well-being is one I have to admit is a grey area for me. I am going to rate myself at a 4 because I am not a traditionalist in this particular area. I believe in a higher overall state of being. A sort of spiritual collective that promotes goodwill toward all. I believe that science and people are capable of wonderful and glorious things. Nature if taken care of will provide nourishment for our bodies, mind, and soul. A goal I am setting for myself is to actively practice loving-kindness. I am trying to be mindful of my words and actions not only towards others but the environment as well.

Psychological- The area of psychological well-being I will rate as a 6. I admit I have areas of weakness the biggest being anxiety (I am a mother of teenagers and a toddler- anxiety comes with the kids). I know that I have this issue and I know there are things that I can do to lessen the anxiety and the inevitable stress it brings. The goal I have set for myself is keep a journal and to continue blogging. This helps me relieve stress, acknowledge feelings, and prioritize things.

The relaxation exercise this week was very long. I found it difficult to find a solid 20 minutes to complete the meditation. That said I did enjoy the prism aspect of the meditation. I liked the association of the colors with different regions of the body and how they translated into feelings of love, being grounded, being centered...etc.

Unit 2- Reflection

Integral Health and Wellness is the coarse I am taking that has sparked this blog. Part of this weeks work was to reflect on a guided relaxation exercise. I have to say I enjoyed it. A very soothing male voice came on. He walks you through breathing techniques which brings you to a very relaxed state. In that relaxed state he talks you through opening up your body for full blood flow to promote deep muscle relaxation. The experience is very soothing. I enjoyed it. If you are someone who struggles with relaxation a guided relaxation tape maybe very helpful. I found this link with audio guided relaxation downloads.

http://www.dartmouth.edu/~healthed/relax/downloads.html

Unit 2- Welcome

Welcome-
     A little note to introduce myself. I am an Army wife. The MSG (Master Sergeant) and I have been married for almost 19 years. Our time with the Army is just a little longer as a couple (almost 20 years) but  we are both Army brats. We have four beautiful children. For their sake, I have promised to not use their names so the oldest is 19 he just joined the Army and leaves for basic training this July, he is his fathers son so I will refer to him as Junior. The next in line is also 19. He just enrolled in college and loves video games, art, music, and has a very old soul. He will absolutely hate this but he will be referred to as Gamer. Next is my teenage daughter she is 15. She is moody, likes boys, reads a lot, and is very much a teenage girl. I will refer to her as  YouTube since that is how she spends a lot of her down time. The last is our 17 month old and she is a ball of energy. I will refer to her as Miracle since to me that is what she is.
     So that's my family. I am a Nutrition Science major desperately trying to complete my last year at Kaplan University. I chose Nutrition Science because in 2008 my YouTube was diagnosed with Celiac disease. To put a cherry on that news, Gamer who had suffered several broken bones starting at the age of 4 was diagnosed with osteopenia. I wanted to be able to give them the tools to live the best life possible. This blog is a requirement of a class I am taking. I am hoping that it becomes something I can continue with. I hope you find inspiration and some joy through my ramblings.

                                          Thanksgiving 2013- YouTube, Gamer, Miracle, Junior.